No matter how fun and satisfying your sex life with your best girl is, there\’s something exhilarating about throwing a little danger into your routine. Enter: having sex in public. Wendy Strgar, author of Love That Works: A Guide to Enduring Intimacy, says what\’s hot for most people about having sex in public is how it takes you out of the realm of comfort. “Endorphins in the brain increase due to a combo of fear of being caught and the anticipation of an orgasm,” she says. “Since it\’s so out of the ordinary, engaging in public sex will be something you remember, regardless if you actually had an orgasm or got caught. It\’s the experience itself that\’s memorable.”
While you might have considered or fantasized about getting it on in your office or hidden away in a side alley on your way home from work, if you really want to take up the ante, it\’s important to be strategic about where you decide to go for it. So before you start slyly suggesting that your girlfriend lift up her skirt, here are some places that experts recommend to have sex in public.
EDITOR\’S NOTE: AskMen does not condone illegal activity. Make sure to research whether it\’s OK to engage in sexual activities in a given situation before you do, as getting caught in some of these situations could lead to financial or legal repercussions.
1. In The Water
Yes, water sex. Fair warning: while having sex in the ocean when other people are swimming around you seems erotic and naughty, Singer does warn that any type of pond, lake or ocean poses a threat of various organisms that can find their way to your urinary tract. This is not only dangerous from a health perspective, but also prevents lubrication in a big, likely-uncomfortable way. Instead, she suggests going for a well-maintained, chlorinated swimming pool. Best at nighttime, right before the hotel closes the gate, have your girl hold onto the side of the deep end while you push deep inside her from behind. Just remember to keep quiet — the slippery moans that are bound to slip out will really carry across the surface of the water.
2. In Your Apartment Or Hotel With The Windows Open
While it might not seem like having sex inside of your home is actually a public outing, if you invite strangers to peer in, it is. What can be hot about opening a window or having sex against the window in a hotel, is your level of comfort. Both of you will feel more at ease since you\’re not, technically-speaking, outside, so the intensity level of intercourse will be more passionate. There\’s also something pretty sexy about not knowing who saw you or how long they watched.
Singer says that this a very popular exhibitionist fantasy for many people because being gawked at — and ahem, admired! — for your moves. If you want to up the ante and make it super-hot? “If you really do want to but on a show from inside a hotel room, make sure the room is across the street from another tall hotel or apartment building, then wait until after dark and turn on all the lights,” Singer says.
3. In A Private Restaurant Or Bar Bathroom
Avoid those multi-stall situations if you want to have sex at your favorite restaurant or bar and make sure to go on an off night where it\’s not as busy. The key to successfully pulling off this naughty bathroom sexexperience is coming prepared — she needs to easily be able to mount you, and you need to be comfortable sitting down in a not-always-sanitary situation. Keep your noise level in check if you don\’t want the bartender cutting your tab off early.
If there aren\’t any gender-neutral washrooms, Singer also suggests choosing a men\’s room over a women\’s room, since they are traditionally less crowded than other ones. The key to successfully pulling off this public sex experience is coming prepared — she needs to easily be able to mount you, and you need to be comfortable sitting down in a not-always-sanitary situation. And for your exit strategy? Singer explains, “The trick here is that the guy needs to do the recon to make sure no one is in there and then sneak the gal in. When finished, reverse the procedure to get her out of there unseen.” Keep your noise level in check if you don\’t want the bartender cutting your tab off early.
4. In The Movie Theater
Like a private restroom, the trick to making this rendezvous exciting and successful is going during a random time where not many people are in the theater. It\’s also important to make sure you select a loud movie — think action and adventure — that will muffle any moans or bodily sounds that either of your make. May we suggest bringing a towel to lay down on the floor so you don\’t leave with popcorn stuck to your back.
It\’s also important to make sure you select a loud movie — think action and adventure — that will muffle any moans or bodily sounds that either of your make. And which position is best? “Have your girlfriend mount you while facing the screen in reverse cowgirl position. This makes it a little less obvious you are having sex, with the added bonus of both of you can also enjoy watching the movie,” she says.
5. In A Parked Car
If you want to minimize the risk of getting of caught but are still kind of interested in someone seeing you going at it, consider having sex in a parked car, potentially in a car garage. Dr. Roudabeh Rahbar, licensed clinical psychologist in Southern California, says many of his clients have said they love having sex this way because it adds a voyeurism aspect to the affair. A car garage has the right balance of public and private, so it\’s an ideal place to go for your first public sex encounter.
Sex expert Coleen Singer adds that another appeal of this type of romp is the throwback vibes it provides. “Sex in cars brings back memories of high school for many people who did that in their youth,” she says. However, one of the biggest hurdles of making this happen is figuring out how to navigate and twist your no-longer-high-school-aged body to fit in a small car. “If you really want to have sex in the front of the car in the passenger seat, open the car door which offers lots of new options for positions,” she says. “If that feels too risky of being spotted by the police, stick to sex in the back seat for a lot more privacy.” Just don\’t forget to lock your doors!
6. On An Airplane
Is there any other sexual feat as popular — and lusted after — as the \’Mile High Club\’? Probably not — and the idea of getting it on far up above sea level is a turn on for many people. But here\’s the deal: you should try it, but keep in mind it will be a tough endeavor, especially with the tight air travel regulations and restrictions in place today. “Since most flights these days are fully booked, joining the Mile High Club has gotten much more difficult,” Singer says. “One good option is to take a late-night or red-eye flight to an unpopular destination.”
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Then, timing is everything: If you are lucky enough to get a row to yourselves, wait until the flight attendants finish food and beverage service and get settled into their area in the galley for the night,” Singer suggests. Then, come prepared for your cover-up: “Have a little blanket to get under, or, if the airline does not offer blankets, a coat or large sweater will do the trick,” Singer says. Think the restroom is a better bet? Singer says the opposite, thanks to increased watchfulness of the flight attendants, “A restroom might seem like an option, but is far riskier than in your seats as the flight crew keeps a good eye on restrooms these days for security reasons,” she explains.
One option here is to have your partner get you 90% of the way while in your seat, say by rubbing your penis through your pants, and then for you to head solo to the washroom to finish. That might not be quite as satisfying as you\’d imagined, but it is a whole lot easier and less likely to get you in trouble.
7. The Back Of A Taxi Or Rideshare
It takes two to tango for most sexual experiences, but in this case, it\’s going to take three. As Singer says, the best way to approach this ahem, sticky, situation is to let the driver in on the fun. One way to play this is to “offer the driver a hundred dollar bill to \’give you a little privacy.\’ The driver will know exactly what you have in mind and either decline, or give you a wink and a nod and then turn the rearview mirror away from viewing you,” she says.
And though you might get turned on seeing your gal go at it on top of you, Singer notes to be mindful of the mess you make. Considering Uber and other car services have your credit card on file, they can easily charge you a $200 cleaning fee if you ejaculate all over the upholstery.
8. In A Park At Nighttime
First and foremost, be smart about this one: If it isn\’t a safe part of town, avoid it. There\’s no reason to put you and your partner in serious trouble just to enjoy a little exhibitionism. That being said, if you\’re familiar with the park and the neighborhood, this can be a lot of fun. When there isn\’t anyone around — likely at nighttime — find a shady tree, bring a blanket and go at it. The best part of about this public sex idea is that you can afford to be a little louder because there likely won\’t be too many people around.
“Sex in a public park is a very good option for many people. The main thing is to find a park that has a secluded or wooded area,” Singer explains. “Take a blanket and picnic basket with you. You can use the blanket for cover, plus have a nice dinner after your romp!”
9. The Changing Room
While you definitely get bored after, say, one minute, of shopping with your girlfriend, the thought that gets you through the many outfit changes is that she\’s butt naked behind that curtain or door. You\’ve probably thought about surprising her while she\’s changing for a quickie. It\’s a fun fantasy but Singer warns that the task at hand won\’t be easy. “This is a tough one to avoid getting caught in as most department store changing rooms are closely monitored by store clerks watching out for shoplifters,” she says. “If you do want to try this route, best bet is to go very early in the day on a weekday as things are not quite so heavily populated.”
10. Hiking The Trails
Forget a candlelight dinner for two, you and your gal love to explore the wild unknown — making trails and nature more of a turn on than aphrodisiac menu. That\’s why getting it on while hiking might be on your romp bucket list. Singer says it\’s a smart concept because the great outdoors offers many options for sexual adventuring: “Depending on where you go hiking, the great outdoors offers all kinds of options for having sex! Against a tree! On a boulder! In a meadow!,” she suggests. Just don\’t leave home without a blanket. And after your orgasm? Check each other for ticks, Singer reminds.
All illustrations by Carlee Ranger.