Ever feel like your heart has been ripped out of your chest…and then stomped on by someone wearing combat boots…and then set on fire…and then the ashes of your heart were put into a blender filled with acid? If your answer is yes, then you’ve probably been through a breakup. Breakups can be really hard, but here’s how you can come out stronger than ever on the other side…
Don’t romanticize the past.
When you’re still reeling from the shock of a split, it’s easy to focus on all the great times you had together and ignore the bad. But remember, you didn’t just randomly breakup. Regardless of who officially called it quits first, there was a reason you didn’t work out. Try not to obsess over what happened or who did what; instead focus on what’s next for you.
Really, really try not to re-bound.
After dating the same person for awhile, you get used to having someone to hang out with all the time, and it’s tempting to fill that void by jumping into another relationship right away. The problem is your post-split judgement tends to be a little impaired. Adjusting to being single again is rough, but moving on too quickly can land you in the wrong relationship and lead to another breakup (or worse, the end of a friendship!). Give yourself more time than you think you need.
Let yourself feel what you feel, and call on your squad when you need a pick-me-up.
Having your heart broken is the worst feeling ever, so it’s totally normal to swear off love and relationships forever. This is where you adopt the motto, “fake it ’till you make it,” proclaiming to your besties that you totally don’t need a relationship, love, or any of that crap. What you do need: some serious QT with your BFFs. When going through a breakup, having your friends around to keep you company and remind you how awesome you are is the fastest way to start feeling like you again.
Have the best relationship of all with *yourself*.
There will come a time when you think about that other person less and less, and then one day you’ll notice that you haven’t thought of them at all. Remind yourself that you don’t need a relationship to be happy. It’s time to see just how strong and incredible and fulfilling your life can be — all on your own!